The right of freedom of speech consists in speaking the truth. - Emir Ali ibn Abi Taleb, May Allah be pleased with him and his Ahl Bayt
6.5.12
The River Sticks
As the drain point
a continent of disciples
catch alls in lieu of cremations,
skim bathes the unborn and buries
the lifeless, the crumpled up
go betweens and feeders,
the pork bellied up and staggers
toward the swan line
in a spoonful of twice weekly
as the bottom grinds
earth into halves
and heads to Sing Sing
in reverse extraction:
bodies, berms, beewalks,
the blessed and the bled-out
guests of Liffy
come in soap-skins,
shrink and cough,
skeptical tho alive
to wring the dead
out the shirts
on wash rocks with a devil
at one side,
birds on the other.
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21 comments:
Oh the stories we'd hear if rivers could talk.
rel
I especially like "pork bellied up and staggers toward the swan line"...powerful...
I find your words quite amazing. Perhaps as a huge commentary upon life ... or one aspect of life. from a cynic's point of view?
Dark and beautiful......
off kilter phrasing and rhythm disturbed my soul patterns
threw me off guard
made me want to read it again and again
Strong write...
The first three lines are my favorites.
rosemarymint.wordpress.com
wow!! i absolutely adored every word you placed here...fantastic!!
soap skins makes me think of how the nazis made soup out of people's fat, and lamp shades out of skin
the river
verification makes it really hard to comment. you'd get more comments if you turned it off. i had to do this several times to get it to work.
this is the real thing
Such disparate images and 'choppy' phrasing made me feel I weathered a windy day on a river ... I, too, read and re-read looking for calm waters ... but no.
powerful and disturbing ...
Oh wow, love this! I would say deep, but that's sooo corny.
oo there is some dark magic under your verse...love all the creative language usage and kinda off kilter phrasing...we def dont want to spend too much time with the dead...it may be catching..
Thank each and every one of you for your generous feedback. I haven't written in quite some time and I really appreciate Tess' project via facebook. Facebook isn't very 'poetry' friendly and it is quite the achievement on her part to make it happen and simultaneously, bring some life 'back to the blogs'.
Not sure how to turn off the river thing for verification though.
Besides the dark imagery, your poem has a tense rhythm which adds to my uneasy feelings surrounding the dead. A very cleverly crafted response to the prompt, Meg. Thank you for sharing.
Come in soap-skins! I just love how this river speaks!
nicely written!
JJRod'z
Those closing lines are killer!
It was fine until "the blessed and the bled-out" - then it went into overdrive. Fantastic - in both senses.
that is pritty
Some amazing writing going on here! Love this!!! :-)
And this is an oblique reference to the River Styx?! LOL
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